Today (7th) is a special day for the

Have a nice day!

*Listening to Somebody,Depeche Mode, feeling a bit nostalgic….

Words are a tool like any other. We use words to put across the feelings that come in and out of our hectic minds and hearts. What happens when you can no longer put into words how it is that you feel? What happens when the english language fails to sum up everything that you want to sum up. What happens when the tears can’t morph themselves into words, words that will explain why it is that you waste so much energy hating yourself. I spin the globe with the tap of my finger and play that game. That game where you put your finger down on a random place and stop the spinning globe and imagine what it would be like to be there. But in a game without a winner, I have managed to become the loser. Because every place is the same. For no matter where I go my footsteps will find a way to follow me. I will follow me. Is there a way I can put myself on a seperate plane from where I’m going? Everyone should have a pair of wings. Wings that will fly ever so high and far away from all worry and pain. Everyone should have wings. I want wings.

*Reading someone else´s blog, feeling down…

If I tell you I´m fine, then does it mean I dont need your attention? If I say things are running right, then, does it mean I dont need your compliments, your care, your friendship? Why is that, that suffering tends to drawn people´s attention, much more than happiness? Should I just say I´m not fine? Or just scream?  HHmm?

Added later…

I made this one private for some reasons, one of them was that I thought I´d keep this feeling/thought to myself. But some people read it and e-mailed me, so I thought I´d make it plubic again… I´m curious now….  Thanks for the words to my mail box, you all..

*Listening to Enya, drinking hot milk, posting one of the compositions I made for the writing course….

It seems that everybody today is trying to define who they are and what they are. This generation is the generation of the individual. The 60′s, 70′s, & 80′s had certian foundational traits that helped form generational movements. However, today there are many small movements within the upcoming generations. It is no longer a sin to be an individual. Schools are not made of 2 groups, the cool and the wishing to be cool they are made up of multiple sub-cultures.

This desire for individualism has a draw back…it doesn’t fulfill our need for meaningful community. Even though we express ourselves in our own way, we desire (need) to be part of something larger than ourselves. If you go to the mall and watch people walk by, it is evident that their a numerous sub-cultures within the American Culture. But even when the individual joins a sub-culture there is still something missing. Variety, is needed in every culture/community. If everyone is the same, there is no stretching and growing…we become stagnant.

The church much understand…we cannot expect everyone to join yesterdays movement and look, talk, dress, and do the same things, nor can we say their is no need for community and just cater to individual needs. The fact that the church is trying to do one or the other has created multiple church sub-cultures. The middle class, the modern, the contempoary, the traditional, the spirit-filled church need to be one not many. The church is the bride of Christ, we are not in a contest to see which bride wins, the church is the bride. All people need to be individuals in the context of the greater community. Artists need to express themselves through their art, teachers through teaching, the young with lots of energy, and the old with wisdom and patience. Let us see beyond ourselves, while respecting the individual, let us bind together for the sake of the lost around us and be the love filled community we have been designed to be.

Just Venting!!!!!

Listening to A-ha, wishing I could have gone to their show last week…too sleepy…

Imagine You are speeding along in your vehicle and suddenly there is a huge ramp in front of you. You have the choice of avoiding the ramp, staying on the ground where you know that it is safe and clear, and being content with a very limited view of the world. Another choice, however, is to hit that ramp head-on and let it send you soaring up over the trees and beyond. Who knows where you might land? There is an incredible adventure waiting for you when you take that leap into the unknown. And I shall report the unknown… Soon I hope..

A lot has happened, and I just don´t report clearly maybe  because I haven´t figured all yet. All I know is that, I have asked God to put me in the right way for the plan He has got to me. And surprisingly I have felt He is answering my prayers. All I need is just coming my way. I just hope I´m smart enough to see all that coming.  And the fear I had of comiting mistakes is now over. I used to say the choice of living by myself scared me now as I have to take decisions, and no one is around… I dont feel alone anymore.  Guess that is what people call faith…

…I told a close friend, Carla, that I  mentioned the talk I had had with her mom in a blog here.  She came to my site, read it, and sent this  e-mail:

“That was cute, Shy. Mom will be thankful for you remember her and I think she will be pround.

Once, an old friend said that everything comes with the time, and I really didn’t believe that. It seemed to be a vicious sentence. But I’m always living this saying. Everything I have suffered, in a way that I don’t know, neither understand, was cured by the time…
Love ya!
Carla.”

That was so nice to read…. As nice as the comments I read here. It is good to have people who think like that around. She is a good friend of mine, and someone nice to have around. Along with her, there are some more good people nearby. We don´t talk often, due to the daily pace here, but we are all connected somehow. I expect to gather them all here at home on Saturday, and I know I´ll have a good time. I´ll cook

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