January 15, 2003
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Thoughts on weblogs: It is difficult to think of a more egotistical thing to do than to write a weblog. The idea that people would want to read the random musings that come out of my keyboard seems to have very little foundation, and I also have some concerns that if anyone does start reading this in spite of that, I may manage to write the worng thing and get myself into trouble.
Perhaps I can justify it in terms of a way of collecting my thoughts and putting them in a convenient place. I don’t know, I’ll have to see how it goes.
But perhaps the illusion that somebody is reading my thoughts will have the effect of somehow forcing my thoughts into some kind of order. When writing to myself they sometimes become too self-pitying or otherwise pathetic.
Areas of thought today have included gender politics, violence, mental illness, loyalty and responsibility. Heavy shit actually, not sure I feel like elaborating on any of them just now, except to note that all is often not as it seems. Assumptions are too easily made (by me at least) regarding what other people might be thinking. As for the comments, I get most of them in my mail box.( thanks to those nice people who write me..
). I still enjoy this place here. I intrigue some people(those who care
). I have even made Michel wonder what I dream of. Well… Dream knows me… Real life is much painless than the one I have here in Xanga. Soul´s almost healed. Body as well. Mind? Mind attached to those words below.
My life is for me, it is my own
it does not rest on what others say or may think
I am responsible for my own happiness
it no longer rests in your hands
I have made a life for myself
My world no longer revolves around you
My accomplishments made without you far exceed
What could only be dreams while with you
I am no longer restrained by my heartache and pain
I set myself free from the hurt
You will live your life of settling and second best
I will strive for it all and continue to better my life everyday
I will never be second best in any aspect of my life
I will reach my dreams by being honest, by being dependable, by loving,
by allowing others to love me, by being compassionate, and by having a good heart
I will reach my dreams by being what you are not; what you will never be
I have grown and developed into a more open person
Most importantly i have realized the life that i want, the life i will, have
the life i deserve
A life that is not in your power to provide
So live your life the way you may
And when you are wishing you had it better
Remember me, and know that i do have it better
And i am no longer within your reach
Comments (8)
Weblogs are meant for personal use. The idea of e-props are superficial.
I never mentioned e-props…
I came over from Spotthecat’s to say hi.
Interesting blog. I find the process of writing in a place that others can read motivating. I have thought for a long time that I should journal, but I do not stick to a personal journal. Having readers helps keep me going. Unfortunately, it also means that I must do a certain amount of censoring – not necessarily to avoid offending, but because some things are private. I do find blogging to be a therapeutic process though, and I enjoy reading the blogs of people who write their thoughts. I find it interesting that the blogs that most people seem to enjoy are the ones that are made up of pictures or quizes – I like a glimpse at the writer.
the last lines are really profound. quite a discerning view on weblogs too…Havta come back and look at blogs I have missed…Work and Learning german are keeping me busy
Hurrah! Sounds like you’ve reached a point that many people can only dream of. You’ve discovered that happiness is a choice that you make.
~Meta~
Great reflections Shy . For me Xanga is a open door towards the world and I let my own door opened to welcome the others . it ‘ s a wealth for all and it brings a mutual comprehension . Did you agree with that ?
I have had the honor to be named in your blog . Thanks .
Love Michel
ps : I have written a comment at your previous blog that I have missed .
i love reading your blogs…perhaps it is for egotistical reasons too…because i feel often that you think like i do, and it’s nice to know that someone else shares your thoughts…or that i might share someone else’s…whichever the case may be….. but there are also things that you bring up which can expand my own thoughts as well…and that is a wonderful thing! so i for one am glad that you are here at xanga!