within a structure I call home
there exists an empty corner
no portrait hangs from the walls
no dust ball lingers on the ground
a beam of light escapes through the window
bounces off the mirror
but creates no shadow
no history exists in this corner
its been wiped clean with a rag soaked in pain.

I got nothing to say. nothing I want you to hear or read or feel at least. I know regardless of how I say it, regardless of how vividly I describe it or eloquently present it you will only feel or understand it with as much importance to you as the fly in the stomach of the pigeon that shit on my shoulder this morning. That’s just the way it is. Comparing, it will move you that much and thats not enough. not today. maybe tomorrow!?! maybe not!?! maybe I’ll let it sit there?! I don’t think I have to share it with anyone to know that it actually exists! It’s nice to do that though. u know, share stuff with people u care about, but something’s belong in the khomre, fermenting! this might be one of them!! what if through the process of expression, as it goes through my head and heart and fingers I’m forced to choose words that don’t exactly reflect what it really means, and that by itself will change its real understanding for me? and I’ll loose it!! what is that theory that we change things even though we’re just observing them?! I would hate that. I want to know it just as it is. same shape, same color, same weight, same taste. Maybe Some things are meant to be silent. like the roaring hush of deep underwater currents as oppose to the chriping sound of a shallow creek. maybe that’s what crying is for? when there is so much there and nothing to say it turns into a form of self-expression and instead of the words the tears flow. maybe to get what homer realy meant the odyssey should be pages and pages of tear drops! and i dont mean when we feel the extremes of a certain emotion, but rather thoughts, realization, comprehension, with all senses in full swing. and this could be of anything, could be of beauty, of truth. sometimes I dont understand what I feel, other times I understand what I feel and what I know, and in very few occasions I fully believe it too. so how does one explain that? how do u put it into words? how do you explain the feeling of flight? or birth? or sex with someone you love? is this making any sense?!?
like I said. I have nothing to say.

Cry to your soul…..

in the film “the professional” little natalie portman while lying in bed and looking up at the ceiling says “leo, I think I love u”. With that leo, the hitman character of the film, spitts out whatever milk there was in his mouth. While cleaning his face with a rag he responds “how do u know what love is?”(natalie portman’s character is around 10 or 11 years old). she responds “I feel it. there was always a knot in my stomach. its gone now. it feels all warm“.

it wasn’t adult love she was referring to, but yet it was. u have to see the film to know what I mean.

Old new thing….

I have been a teacher for about 10 years now. I has been for the same school thought. Something great about it, is that I did get used to the methodology, and I have made great friends there as well. Private language schools in Brazil tend to have small groups, which allows teachers and students to have a closer relationship when it is convenient or simply something normal for both parts. A good number of friends I have now are ex students. That also makes me grow as person, once I´m usually learning from them, as they tend to work in different areas.  however, as a professional, working at the same place for so long tend  to make one lack goals, or simply become too stuck in the same way. 

For some time now I had been willing to change a bit, and explore other ways in the education field, but didnt even know where to start from. Sometimes I confess I even didn´t think I could at least be able to do so. Then  a friend comes and offers me to stay in her place at a regular school she had been teaching for a while. That was my chance. Seeing and feeling myself a brand new  area was exactly what i was looking for.  And I have been teaching there for 5 months now.   The beginning was scary. As I accepted to teach groups from the kindergarden till high school levels, and each group has an average of 25 students. I had then to manage the teaching part with the controlling class addded with the fact that I was there in front of many different individuals each class.

Five months later, i´m here.. alive! I have the luck to have a director that is a psychologist, and one who has given me all the support I have needed. Now, i feel the need of coming back to College and take a course on Education. I feel the need of learning more on ways of learning and teaching. What comes next, I´ll just find out later.. and there´s much more to write about this experience as well. Meanwhile, let me just show you some of the groups. I didnt manage to take pics from all of them, but here are at least some…

Below, there are my 3rd and 2nd primary school groups. And.. yes, the 2nd grade was just quiet like that because it was exam day…

Below, the 5th and 6th Grades…All devils…But I love them…

Below, some of my pearls from the kindergarden….

You can click on the pics to see them larger. I´ll post more on the teaching advencture later!

…I’m finding my way back to sanity again
Though I don’t really know what i’m gonna do when i get there
I take a breath and hold on tight
Spin around one more time
And gracefully fall back to the arms of grace…

 Breathing by Lifehouse

Fun with friends in Atibaia….

Three weeks ago I had the chance to go to Atibaia, a mountainous city close to Sao Paulo, to two interesting events. The first one was On the same weekend we celebrated our “lovers day” here in Brazil, I remember I owed you all some pictures. Below there are the pictures of the house we went to. I say ‘we’, because this is the place people from church usually gather on the long weekends. We also had one of the pastors of our church conducting a Bible study on Christian relationships. Too bad I was so concentrated on it, that I forgot to take pictures…. Anyway, here goes the house

Below, there are some more pictures of its outside and some of us inside it as well. As it it winter here, we all thought we were blessed with a sunny weekend. Some of the guys and girls went outside to play soccer….and yeah, the pool was not used.  In the evening, we all stayed  be the fireplace when not watching any gross movie( they always manage to choose the ones no one likes..) we sang…

       click to see larger

Below, there are pictures also taken in Atibaia, but at a friend´s house. It was Chrysane´s and Beto´s( couple in front of the cake) wedding anniversary. Their 10th! We went there for some nice time and great dinner…Yummy…

Take care you all!

Something more on my city, Sao Paulo

Paulista Avenue

Many people in Brazil use to joke about making tourism in Sao Paulo, saying that the best thing about it, is that the city is not too far from Rio. A funny joke, but nothing more then a joke. Actually, in a country with dozens, hundreds of cities and towns by the sea, these people got used to the idea that there is nothing better for a vacation than sea and sand. So, what can we say about places like New York, Paris and Tokyo, just to name a few. Are all of them boring places? Sao Paulo, with its 17 million people, is the largest city in the south hemisphere. A place absolutely full of exciting things to do everywhere. Music, arts, museums, culture, excellent restaurants, dance, opera and a lifestyle that can’t be matched anywhere else in the country. Also an industrial giant, commercial metropolis, where dozens of different languages are spoken, this immense cultural melting pot is always remembered in the country as the place where money is, a place where everything is available. Definitely a place for people who enjoy the best and refined things in life

Centro in the downtown district is a financial and cultural center that’s still home to the stock exchange and many banks. This historic district is drawing new momentum as revitalization efforts take hold, the area is around Praça da Sé and Praça da República , the two sections of the city bisected by a broad avenue, the Vale do Anhangabaú.

Nightlife offers all sort of attractions. From laid-back jazz clubs to full-on techno. The swinging Vila Madelena district is the place to be at night. With a distinctly bohemian atmosphere, this neighborhood is packed with enough restaurants, clubs and bars to keep you entertained for at least a week. For more sophisticated but equally eclectic nightlife, you could head to the Jardins district behind Avenida Paulista. Or there is Bela Vista, in the Italian quarter where Continental style cafe and bars with live music are the rage. The main area for restaurants is the Jardins district, however good quality establishments are scattered throughout the city. There are a wide choices of cuisine, as you would expect in such a multi-cultural city including German, Lebanese, Japanese, Spanish, Italian and Portuguese.

 Sao Paulo has it all. And, if by chance, you hear someone telling that old fashioned joke about no beaches in this town, you don’t need to worry. All you have to do is go to Santos , at the Atlantic coast, just one hour drive from Sao Paulo. There you find a wonderful white sand beach to spend the weekend, as so many of the Paulistas (those who are born here) do, and will be able to tell you friends that you had it all on your trip to Sao Paulo. Even a beach!

I found a site on postcards from the city which I find interesting visiting in order to catch a better overal idea of Sao Paulo. This is a bit of where I live.

Ps.: My banner is also a picture of Sao Paulo downtown

PsII.: Pessoal do IEBB, eu ainda não revelei as fotos. Devo colocá-las ainda essa semana! Beijo pra vocês…