March 17, 2003
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Why does a person experience shame? Why is there such a great need to conceal and hide? It’s such an irony that one can be so obsessed with how others might perceive them and yet most people don’t really give a flying fart about you, except maybe in passing. My impression is that most people are too busy about how the world or their peers or their colleagues will judge them. The man who is liberated from this kind of thinking is free to do whatever he wishes because he economizes all his time and energy to his aspirations. Incidentally, I wish I were that man.
We can take a look around and point out the flaws and failures of so and so but none of us really devotes our time in exalting ourselves for being better than him for this or that reason. Noting their flaw may give us comfort and reinforces, in a warped sort of way, a positive opinion of ourselves.
So far, I’ve been on the topics of the abstract or described random strains of my daily affairs. I wish I could go into further detail but really I can’t. Something in me prevents the actual data of my day from materializing into words. Does that mean I have issues with acknowledging how I am living my life. It could be. I envy those who can give such a free and sincere account, both successes and failures. It used to be where I could admit freely what I do each day without thinking twice. Now, I’ve constructed this ridiculous standard of how a person should be leading a meritorious lifestyle. I confess I find it difficult to detach myself from the mentality that supports the notion of worth and the nature and level of productivity.
If a man is stripped of his profession and is lacking in the area of higher learning, how would I perceive him? Theoretically, I would value him just the same. But sadly, that is not the case. I suppose my actions may not reflect the discriminative nature of my thoughts. I feel that if I were to extinguish the way that I perceived myself life would be happier and innocent, like lemonade and cotton candy. I have determined the profession of my choice but I can’t help being tempted into thinking that some professions are more godly than others. Scripture clearly says that every aspect of the body is needed despite how man might assess the value. I thought I had resolved this issue already. God loves you and trhe only thing He asks is that you live a life of dedication to Him. It’s really perplexing how the mind knows this but something in the self, the will perhaps, refuses to comply.
Help, I need somebody
Help, not just anybody
Help, you know I need someone, help
When I was younger so much younger than today
I never needed anybody’s help in many ways
And now these days are gone
I’m not so self assure
Now I find I’ve changed my mind
I’ve opened up the door
Help me if you can I’m feeling down
And I do apreciate you being round
Help me get my feet back on the ground
Won’t you please, please ? Help me
And now my life has changed in oh so many ways
My independence seems to vanish in the hase
But every now and then I feel so insecure
I know that I just need you like
I’ve never done before
Help me, help me, oh…
The Beatles, Help, Help
Comments (9)
i think that quite often our own opinion of ourselves is much harsher than the way the rest of the world views us….perhaps it is something that was put into us as children….that we are ashamed of our failures and mistakes…..but i certainly have no easy time putting mine up for display either!
…posts regarding your friend’s parents time in Cuba would be interesting reading.
MuSe
…you’re certainly being introspective. Such deep thinking always makes me hungry. I look at failures in a positive way, failures are learning experiences, in fact, failures is what constitues experience. People are much more alike than different. Success can be a double edged sword. People can be successful at something and have no idea why.
…i think as we get older we learn the lessons that you posted of today. Give yourself time, you’ll gain the experience to realize there are lot of educated idiots out there who haven’t a clue to what is important in life. Accordingly, you’ll care less what those idiots think, least of all, about you.
PS…corrections: “in fact, failure is what constitutes…” M
Why to be ashame ? of his believes ? of his level of knowledges ? of our body ?….. I don’ t know . What I know this is with the age we become more quiet and not ashame . We are as we are and we do what we can .
I hope Shy I have well understood your message .
Love Michel
A most beautiful blog yet again… am forced think once more… on being ashamed and waht people think… I am trying to forget about others and live for myself… I read somewhere… Never think what people think about you because they are too busy thinking what you think of them… nice on paper, difficult to follow…
Take care and have a good week!
I was taught by a very trusted source and counsellor once that you should not feel shame and to get rid of it fromyour life as best you can.
We are our worst enemy – Shame is one of the ways we punish ourselves… and we often times, buy into the shame that others project on us much to easily…
Wow. That was powerful. Like Vineet, I am thinkin’ about this too. It’s so hard to go about in life without thinking of what others think of you. It shouldn’t matter. But it does. Cuz a lot of things in are determined by others. And obviously, what they think of you will determine their decisions.
But still, where it doesn’t matter, it shouldn’t matter. (Did that make sense?) Yesh, easy to say, hard to implement.
Sexual shame can be a bit good though. Very dirty feeling
I like your background a lot.