March 21, 2003
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Perspective on Crises
So… I’ve been thinking about how people percieve problems in their lives. It seems to me that most people, when a problem arises that people tend to think that it’s the end of the world, that life as they know it is over, even that theirs is the worst problem of all the people they know. And I’m not talking ‘which highly-overpriced-item should I buy?’ or ‘which movie should I watch tonight?’ type problems, I’m talking ‘I got fired, and rent is due next week, and I can’t pay my bills.’ or ‘My friend told me they never wanted to see me again.’ type problems, serious ones. And what I find odd about this is that everybody has these problems… and many of these problems, although different, are not better or worse problems than the others. Yes, some problems are more serious, I know that. But why do people seem to think that THEIR problem is worst? I think it’s because they do not actually SEE the other problems with any depth.
For example, a friend will tell me their problem… but chances are I won’t understand it to the full extent. I won’t be able to understand, because I’m not IN the situation. People tend to be short-sighted that way. It’s possible to understand, if I try hard enough, and ask enough questions. But if you don’t know what questions to ask, how are you supposed to ask them? And people don’t tend to offer that much information about their deepest problems. So a person who is currently having problems will be able to see their problems clearer than those of his/her friends, usually. And thus, they judge them with a bias. Just something I’ve observed lately… people need perspective on their life.
Nice week, all
Comments (12)
Perspective… thats the cause of half the problems in this world… people don’t see waht you do and vice versa… if only we could all see things the same way… life would be so much simpler… maybe a bit too simple… hmmm…
Take care and have a great Friday!
…thoughtful post! With practice I think we learn “…and this too shall come to pass.” Often, I’ve noticed that “awfulizing” seems to be the majority of the crisis.
MuSe
Yes, it’s all perspective – I know if I have shared a situation that someone else is now in, I tend to give them thoughts on what I did or how I felt… if I can’t think of anything to say, but the usual platitudes I will say that too, I find they appreciate honesty. Good points up there!!
These are interesting observations and something I have actually been thinking about myself today! I know someone who says we can all only see life through our own set of baggage. I am also learning that human solutions generally fail to be perfect ones~we are flawed beings who give flawed solutions (not that we don’t often have good intentions.) All my life, my father quoted, “I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet.” Yea, it’s pretty much about perspective. Have a good weekend yourself!
you are so right…if only people could take some time off to think about the problems others face…
now that i’ve said it i dont even know if i’m gonna look at others’ problems differently tomorrow…i guess it’s easy to preach but so difficult to act on…
go here
http://pub61.ezboard.com/bmytinylittlemessedupworld
Vai parecer psicologia barata, mas é a mais pura verdade, mesmo vindo de um seriado (inteligentíssimo Ally McBeal).
-”Ally, por que seus problemas são maiores que os dos outros?”
-”Porque são meus.”
Pura verdade.
Beijos
true, but it needs effort… maybe people are too lazy to ask questions anymore?
Hey, I haven’t posted here before, but I’ve been reading some of your entries. This one is very thoughtful. You have some good insight, but like someone already posted, it can be hard to put what you say into action. Interesting post
So it is the “gradations” of familiarity that the listener has with the person sharing the problem, coupled with the ability of the listener to be helpful, compassionate and constructive that has a direct bearing on the outcome of this “problem sharing”.
Tâo, é mesmo!
I’m one of those people that gets pretty overwhelmed with their problems. It sounds like the end of the world, but then you go through it, and you come out alright. Maybe with some bruises, but strong nonetheless.
The truth is, unless you realize that, you won’t be able to stare at your next problem and understand that it is just an obstacle, temporary, that has to be dealt with. And the sooner you deal with it, the sooner you move on.
In addition, when i can’t rationalize all that because i’m so overwhelmed, i just stop and think about all the poverty in the world, people who do not have work, money, nor land to feed them, people who are blind, people who can’t walk. People who have no roof to sleep under… It usually works
To true. And lots of times it’s hard to offer advice to someone else’s problem when you don’t fully comprehend the situation–no matter how much you try. When I have a serious problem I try to approach it optimistically. I always always say to myself: “And this too will pass.” It has helped me a lot. And when I go through a rough situation I know that it will get better and I will only grow and learn form it.