May 23, 2003

• 

  
  

   

  
  

  

  
  

  come over

  
  

  Every once in a while I forget why I get up in the morning. I know there must be countless of significant things I do every day, but sometimes I forget what those are.

  
  

  After spending what seemed like never ending days in bed – reading, watching, turning, sleeping, listening, walking over to the computer and thinking, I have nothing to say – I wonder if today is any different. I got up. But there has to be more to it than that. Right?

  
  

  What do I do everyday? Well, yesterday I finally finished some American Lit assignments I had been working on for 3 days on my “spare” time. That’s great. So now I’ll have more time! To do what?

  
  

  I don’t make my bed…I like clean, but I don’t see the importance on making something which will be almost immediately unmade. Besides, in my opinion, messy isn’t always dirty.

  
  

  I wash my dishes…whenever those happen to make it out of the cabinet.

  
  

  I dust my tv off…because I hardly ever watch it, and when I do glance towards it I can see dust bunnies havin’ a ball. I don’t like bunnies.

  
  

  I listen to music…mostly in the gym or when I go to work. Walking home to silence still makes me cry, and I like it.

  
  

  I talk to friends…about this and that.

  
  

  I work… Wednesday I had my class watched by a supervisor from Rio. Not only he is a nice person and peofessional, but also he´s American. It sounds scary to be evaluated by a native speaker, but it is rewarding as well. When he gave me the feedback, he told me if he were to have a language teacher, he´d want someone like me…( ). He complimented me on my methodology procedures, on my explanations ans on my command of English. Ok, ok.. I´m proud…..

  
  

  I write…about my day, just like today. Nonsense and mediocrity. i know it is not like that, but that is how it feels…

  
  

  At the end of it all I didn’t learn a thing. It shouldn’t take a lifetime to not make a bed. And what am I so busy with that I can’t eat a meal at home? Conversations with friends shouldn’t be so easily forgotten, but I don’t remember the last time I was shaken by someone else’s words.

  
  

  That’s what I need to do. I need to pay attention. It is probably not the hours escaping my mind. It is people.

  
  

  Come eat with me. Let’s watch tv while we are at it. Hope you don’t mind my messy bed but I don’t have a tv in my living room. Or if you’d like, we can listen to music. There are over 300 CDs in my closet. Pick something out. If you want to talk, we can do that too. Or we can sing. I promise not to forget you were here. If you come, maybe tomorrow I’ll have something to say.

  
  

  come away with me…. Saudade, meu anjo… 

  
  

  

  • 4:29 pm
  • 16 Comments