September 2, 2003
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desire me
My desires come alive in the images of art and love, generally manifested as a sense of sin – that forbidden, that damned word “pleasure.” I’m not speaking of my sexuality but rather of my spirituality – the quality of my life. I was raised not to trust my own desires. My mind doesn’t know what’s best for my body and my heart is easily fooled. I was raised to believe I can be anything I want to be as long as I don’t cross the line.
I never was comfortable with the idea of not being able to explore the infinite universe that is my own soul. I don’t consider myself a rebel but I do question the now – right now. I believe the answer to it will determine the fate of the world we have made. I refuse to become less than the production of goods. The definition of a being that works should be changed to that of a being that desires.
Some, young people in particular, mistake their desires with lust – a temporary craving. Their career paths are chosen according to the current potential to make money. Currency up and currency down. Buckle up for the ride of your life. I wish we didn’t focus so much on all of those short-term “realistic” measures that produce. We strengthen the status quo and in turn strengthen a system that grows and spreads at the expense of the people who feed it: as its reality increases, so does our unreality.
What about everything else? What will truly make us happy? What is the one thing we all have in common? I will dare to say it is our solitude – our need for redemption and a redeemer. I’m not talking about religion, although it could apply, but our need for someone else. Our desire to share who we really are. The irony of it all is that when given the oportunity, we tend to be who we are expected to be. After all, I was raised not to trust my own desires. The outcome? Memory boxes filled with missed or misused oportunities over and over again.
I’ve learned much from my parents. From both their mistakes and successes. I’ve educated myself and will continue to pursue knowledge wherever I go for as long as I live. Drawn outside the lines signifies everything there is for me to take. I want you to see that everything is there for me to take. Some things are good for me and some aren’t. I choose. So let me ask, what are your desires? Take me on a journey of sensual wisdom. Wake up my heart.
Comments (8)
i always desire happiness…
thanks for the birthday wish
We have not brought up , you like me , with a pedagogy of the desire but with a pedagogy of duty .
What is better ?
Is the desire ever satisfied ? More we search to satisfy more it increases .
But doing the duty does not make us necessarily happy .
What is the happiness ?
Love Michel
It´s all about where to find the right reason to live for, Michel. We both are christians, so we have similar ideas on that. Im learning how to live now. And I have suuceeded day by day in finding that a litlle. With His help, always
You think much before you write – I love the way the words you speak ring so clear! Insight is a wonderful things
You’re truly inspiring… i’ve been reading your weblogs through the e-mail subscription and failed to comment, but i still have to say you do raise some very touchy points and feelings.
Keep writing, keep questioning, keep living!!
Take care
I agree with you, i’m an artist and many people keep telling me im gonna be poor for the rest of my life because of my career choices.But painting makes me happy and i dont feel poor at all, because my heart fills with joy every time i render my dreams, what i see and feel on a canvas.
I wonder how many “rich” people can say they truly love what they do for a living…
Take care!
Oh! And I really like the way you write!
I asked my Guru the same set of questions one day and she said “there one more added to the era of enlightenment!” yes sweetest, i guess that is the main reason why we are not truly happy coz we are aware of our spritual side and yet fail to really work on it! my desire….to break those social n mental bounds and seek true sprituality coz only that will lead to the kind of happiness you talked about earlier.
I agree with Michel..bout desires…I don’t usually get on such discussions on apublic platform but anyways…I find my happiness within…rather than withOut.
May God help u know, wht u are looking for
and may u find, wht u r looking for.