Deadly is the sin
Sin is that which enters your blood
It moves through it like smoke
Billowing from a snake
Through your viens
Twisting, Turning, Manipulating
Sin is what will take you down
It is what will make you frown
It is the esence of passion
So intoxicating it fills you
One started your adicted
Lost in a wonderful world
Of lies and other worldy pleasures
It can take you on one disasterous ride
No telling if you will find your way out of the maze it creates
Can’t you feel it?
Its in all of us
You can’t escape it
You can’t drain it from your soul
All you can do is hope that its effects lessen
Lessen the grip from your throat.

Some say Brazilian women are this… or that…. How do they know, if there is not just one kind of Brazilian? This seems like a “United Colors Of Bennetton™” add.  That´s how Brazil is; diverse even the people. Anyway. This one was taken at a  nice restaurant close to my new home. the girls are good friends from one of the schools I work for. We had a great time. Yes, we always do!

***I´m the second one from left to right…

Empty

Steve thinks I´m  screwy  for sending him this( See it please). I just think I need to empty my mind at times…. Oh, well.. Who cares? I was invited to go to Paris in December. And guess what?! I accepted!

By the way, let me introduce my friend Luiz. He´s new at Xanga, and thought you guys would say “hi” there at his site for him to get started….

Btw added later….Is there any Orkut member out there? Just curious…

Have a great weekend, you all….

I’m just tired. My capacity to attention has dipped to a record low. I sometimes think I care less, considering the direct relationship between caring and dissapointment, and its not just work!! but I think I’m just tired. its not even good tired. like if I stayed up all night and finished a paper I’m satisified with, or build a boat with my bare hands!! its empty tired. its drained tired. its put me in the jungle and fly away tired. its flip the switch and turn off the world tired. I want to say damn it, who cares. would be easy. but I realy dont feel like that. still here!!!
I’m just tired.

within a structure I call home
there exists an empty corner
no portrait hangs from the walls
no dust ball lingers on the ground
a beam of light escapes through the window
bounces off the mirror
but creates no shadow
no history exists in this corner
its been wiped clean with a rag soaked in pain.

I got nothing to say. nothing I want you to hear or read or feel at least. I know regardless of how I say it, regardless of how vividly I describe it or eloquently present it you will only feel or understand it with as much importance to you as the fly in the stomach of the pigeon that shit on my shoulder this morning. That’s just the way it is. Comparing, it will move you that much and thats not enough. not today. maybe tomorrow!?! maybe not!?! maybe I’ll let it sit there?! I don’t think I have to share it with anyone to know that it actually exists! It’s nice to do that though. u know, share stuff with people u care about, but something’s belong in the khomre, fermenting! this might be one of them!! what if through the process of expression, as it goes through my head and heart and fingers I’m forced to choose words that don’t exactly reflect what it really means, and that by itself will change its real understanding for me? and I’ll loose it!! what is that theory that we change things even though we’re just observing them?! I would hate that. I want to know it just as it is. same shape, same color, same weight, same taste. Maybe Some things are meant to be silent. like the roaring hush of deep underwater currents as oppose to the chriping sound of a shallow creek. maybe that’s what crying is for? when there is so much there and nothing to say it turns into a form of self-expression and instead of the words the tears flow. maybe to get what homer realy meant the odyssey should be pages and pages of tear drops! and i dont mean when we feel the extremes of a certain emotion, but rather thoughts, realization, comprehension, with all senses in full swing. and this could be of anything, could be of beauty, of truth. sometimes I dont understand what I feel, other times I understand what I feel and what I know, and in very few occasions I fully believe it too. so how does one explain that? how do u put it into words? how do you explain the feeling of flight? or birth? or sex with someone you love? is this making any sense?!?
like I said. I have nothing to say.

Cry to your soul…..

in the film “the professional” little natalie portman while lying in bed and looking up at the ceiling says “leo, I think I love u”. With that leo, the hitman character of the film, spitts out whatever milk there was in his mouth. While cleaning his face with a rag he responds “how do u know what love is?”(natalie portman’s character is around 10 or 11 years old). she responds “I feel it. there was always a knot in my stomach. its gone now. it feels all warm“.

it wasn’t adult love she was referring to, but yet it was. u have to see the film to know what I mean.

Old new thing….

I have been a teacher for about 10 years now. I has been for the same school thought. Something great about it, is that I did get used to the methodology, and I have made great friends there as well. Private language schools in Brazil tend to have small groups, which allows teachers and students to have a closer relationship when it is convenient or simply something normal for both parts. A good number of friends I have now are ex students. That also makes me grow as person, once I´m usually learning from them, as they tend to work in different areas.  however, as a professional, working at the same place for so long tend  to make one lack goals, or simply become too stuck in the same way. 

For some time now I had been willing to change a bit, and explore other ways in the education field, but didnt even know where to start from. Sometimes I confess I even didn´t think I could at least be able to do so. Then  a friend comes and offers me to stay in her place at a regular school she had been teaching for a while. That was my chance. Seeing and feeling myself a brand new  area was exactly what i was looking for.  And I have been teaching there for 5 months now.   The beginning was scary. As I accepted to teach groups from the kindergarden till high school levels, and each group has an average of 25 students. I had then to manage the teaching part with the controlling class addded with the fact that I was there in front of many different individuals each class.

Five months later, i´m here.. alive! I have the luck to have a director that is a psychologist, and one who has given me all the support I have needed. Now, i feel the need of coming back to College and take a course on Education. I feel the need of learning more on ways of learning and teaching. What comes next, I´ll just find out later.. and there´s much more to write about this experience as well. Meanwhile, let me just show you some of the groups. I didnt manage to take pics from all of them, but here are at least some…

Below, there are my 3rd and 2nd primary school groups. And.. yes, the 2nd grade was just quiet like that because it was exam day…

Below, the 5th and 6th Grades…All devils…But I love them…

Below, some of my pearls from the kindergarden….

You can click on the pics to see them larger. I´ll post more on the teaching advencture later!

…I’m finding my way back to sanity again
Though I don’t really know what i’m gonna do when i get there
I take a breath and hold on tight
Spin around one more time
And gracefully fall back to the arms of grace…

 Breathing by Lifehouse