Lotus's Xanga Site

April 19, 2006

Step by step…

This uncertainty is killing me.The wait is strangling my senses.Its all sweet, I can feel the beauty of being in love, but the very next moment the sweetness is overpowered by glimpses of bitter withdrawal in the face of unrequisition.And that I know to be the worst experience ever.Even though I know that I have it in me to face the truth with all the elegance in the world.The bewilderment and the emotional turmoil is leaving me numb, silent. I neither want to hurt myself nor run away from my responsibilities nor do I intend to drive the cheer away from my life.But I am scared…though I know how easy it is for me to switch from this state. I am untying the knots, the very knots which supported me in lurch. I feel no anguish, instead if I force myself to re-establish the lost ties, it may backfire. I know what I am losing. I know the hurt and pain I give to people who don’t deserve it.But u cant cling onto anything forever. You ought to be on the move.

You may pause for a while, but you cant stop. Cherish your past, but live in the

present.

April 16, 2006

Easter is the most important religious holiday of the Christian liturgical year, observed between late March and late April (early April to early May in Eastern Christianity) to celebrate the resurrection of Jesus, which Christians believe occurred after his death by crucifixion in AD 27-33 (see Good Friday). Easter can also refer to the season of the church year, lasting for fifty days, which follows this holiday and ends at Pentecost. Easter Day is also called the Sunday of the Resurrection or “Resurrection Day.” That is what I believe. A renewing age to all of you and a hope of respect and God in your hearts is what I pray. Happy Easter, Everyone!…

April 4, 2006

Downpours and Deserts

Sometimes these words drip
Like a leaky faucet of tears
Or the dizzle of a rainy day
Sometimes they are a raging waterfall
Torent and wild
Racing and eroding
Engulfing like a flood
Still others are a single drop
On a peaceful pond
Sending ripples into eternity
But I hate it when they are a desert
Dry, parched, wordless
No water, no words
Only dust
and silence
and an empty page.

Too much happening. No inspiration to write. No time and conditions either. Who cares? Me, I guess. Though I’ll be back soon. I miss writing, reading about my Xanga peers and showing Brazil stuff.

February 3, 2006

I’m …

I died before I lived and hid before I was seen
The world is spinning and I’m standing still like a puddle on the road
A road going nowhere and trying to find myself… but where did I go?
There was pain once but now even that’s gone
Now there is nothing… nothing left
But wait there is my son and my life

Wait, there is my partner and my choice
Every time I see them I drift back
Back to solid footing
Back to reality
I’m back, I’m leaving, I’m…

gone.

January 25, 2006

Someone is getting older

On the 25th January (Wednesday) is the 452nd Anniversary of São Paulo foundation(amazing pics here! Wait till all the photos load), which is a public holiday in the state. 40 events have been organised, with the highlight being shows in Parque da Independicia (Independence Park, located near Ipiranga Museum). The park will play host to concerts from Paulinho da Viola, Naná Vasconcelos and Cordel do Fogo Encantado. In other events on the day, Sampa bikers have organized a ride of around 50 kilometers, spread over 4 hours, around various places in the city. There will also be a party celebrating 10 years of the gay parade in São Paulo. For more see http://www.sescsp.org.br (the site is in Portuguese).

See also: São Paulo skyscrapers(Best of) Mainly Copan, Martinelli, Italia buildings and Hilton Hotel. They are basically situated downtown.

January 18, 2006

This is a bit of what Samba de Gafieira is. It’s hard to find online videos, but it is enough for you guys to have an idea. I particularly can say I dance better than her She might not be Brazilian… Hope you enjoy seeing some of what I have been doing lately…

Have a good day!

January 12, 2006

Thirsty

Press the deepest part of you
To the rim of his cup.
Your thirstiest place
Already knows the way.
Dry, parched, sandy soul
The yearning is too much.

Why stay here longing
When the water is so close?

January 6, 2006

Vacation.

Ah, the farm… I was glad when my boss-friend-half mother invited me to go to the farm for the end of the year festivities again. One of the best things is that we are all in sinthony with the faith in God, and that makes a whole difference when spending Christmas and New Year’s eve away from home. It is a large farm, yet, not a fancy place. It´s simple, people there are simple as well and they all have something special. I´m not part of their family, but for years now they make me feel comfortable there.

Below on the left, there´s a mango tree. Can you see the mangoes? Still green though. Click on the snaps to see better size.

Can you see the hummingbird drinking water? ahhh…..

Below, a sequence not well shot from the crops. Guess that´s lettuce over there. Among other vegetables.

The queen Xmas tree!!!!!!! ( Ok, let me explain it here.. I never had this when a child, so I do get carried away when I see one)

That´s us a some time before our devotional about Christmas time. Was so nice… everyone cried. Even me, I never do that… Not in front of people…

After dinner, the gifts… Can you see the box of F.R.I.E.N.D.S on the table? 8th season… damn cool!

And after doing chores, the relax..

More relax…

Below, there´s everyone after the New Year´s dinner. Singing, chatting…

More later…

January 1, 2006

It was hard, but harbored the supple;
It was dead, yet absorbed my rumble;
It was silent, but the silence echoed
The silence of my words unuttered.

When I cuddled into my space,
No attempt did it make, to cave in.
When I let my mind wander,
Never did it demand an explanation.

Still on vacation but back from trip, I am weirdly still tired. I guess my mind had no rest, as I remember I could never sleep properly. New year? Don´t feel so. I´ll turn 30 now, guess I’m unconsciously neglecting 2006. My old habits are still in collision with my new beliefs, but one thing is certain. I’m more optimistic now. And… skin shines more than ever…

Pictures later