and speaking of friendships

This entry over at A Picture’s Worth made me smile. I had never really thought about it like that but I guess it’s true. No matter where you are from, to me, you live in my computer! I’m going to ScanDisk more often from now on, haha. *smiles*

strange relationships

Online friendships are so strange. I know many people say they are the same as the “real” thing but allow me to disagree.

You can disappear out of my life and there is very little I can do about that. You may even choose to do it without giving any sort of explanation. The circumstances for that to happen with a person you see and touch day in and day out would have to be extremely weird. Like he or she killed someone and are running away. Know what I mean?

You are probably thinking well, that’s not a real friend anyway, but I’ve had what I thought were real friends do just that – disappear. Oh, and they come back from time to time. That’s the online thing. It can be somewhat unpredictable.

Another thing, people seem to consider you their friend much sooner than if you had met them on the street for the first time. For some reason we are more open to strangers online than we are face to face. Maybe it is because we all feel safe behind our computer screens. Many people online call me a friend who don’t even know how many sisters and brothers I have or where I went to school. Don’t get me wrong, I like making new friends. I just wish they would ask things like that before they declared themselves a friend. Something other than what do you look like.

Do you care what I look like? I’m sure you do. Not saying you wouldn’t talk to me if I looked or didn’t look a certain way, but we all want to put a face to the name right? Right now I look like crap, but you can’t see and you probably never will. Yet another thing that’s different. I may tell you about the things that aren’t right in my life, but you can’t see them in action. And I’m talking about something other than bad hair.

I’m not sure if this is making any sense or if it matters to anyone at all that I am thinking about it. It is 9 a.m. and I have been up for maybe 15 minutes. I read an e-mail from an old friend who disappeared on me and realized that despite of that, I still think of this person as a friend. How weird is that?

-shy

 Excuses
I tried to capture you on this page as you are in my mind, but these colours are too flat or the wrong shade, or this paper has the wrong texture. These shapes do not come to life beneath my hands; this figure holds you tentatively, imperfectly. My fingers are more attuned to the minor twitches needed to produce cursive writing than the long smooth strokes involved in sketching. But you see, I did try…

Forever

Will you not dance by the shores beloved?
The sea’s melody is truly honey sweet.
Take me in your arms there beloved,
For tis heaven there I shall meet.

Will you not listen to the wind my love?
Over the sugar canes it blows.
A herald of the memories to come my love,
To unfolding petals of the rose.

Will you not hold me in the storm my heaven?
Let the rains kiss your face.
I see the beauty in your soul my heaven,
A beauty I shall forever embrace.

Will you not lay by my side my lover?
Tis your warmth beneath the stars I seek.
Caress my skin beneath your palm my lover,
Whilst twilight over the skies does creep.

For forever is still too short my darling,
Yet long enough to prove me true.
I will not cry a thousand oceans my darling,
For the kisses I lost to you.

this was written on the subway on my way home. as well as the sketch posted  last Friday…now i wonder… what else  should i do(make?) on my way home? HHmmm…ok, don´t answer…. Have a nice week, you all!                             

Looking shortly back in time, I am able to realize I cannot compare my life to dullness, but to the unexpected. Three months ago I saw myself drawning in the deepest well I have ever seen myself in. Classes at work were reduced, and so was the money. I wanted deeply to move before my roommate got married, but then I guess I would not be able to sleep in peace, as she does need someone to help out with the bills. I did not imagine I could play the violin, or even be chosen by God. Even be sane again….or healed from the phantom of depression.

If I look back a bit further, just a year back I started going to the Presbyterian church. Recently, being able to study the words of God 4 times a week seem not enough due to the wonders I have learned and the view of the world it gives me now. At this very same time last year I was invited to the church´s anniversary. I remember standing at the end of the celebration and being presented and welcomed to the members as a new visitor. One year later I´m taking part of the celebration by singing together with some other members of the church. My time to please God…

Violin classes also started 2 months ago. I also decided to take the classes at church, and I expect that in one year´s time I´ll be playing together with the orchestra. I´m glad it seems easy so far. Im glad I do feel I have the makings of playing such a beautiful instrument…

I have mentioned taking less group classes this semester. However, people started contacting me for private classes. That has allowed me to work less, earn more, and have fun with private students. It is a total different pace, and I have been giving special value to anything that´s different and rewarding now. I tutor 5 students who are fashion designers for a well known company in Brazil. They´re really fun and dedicated people, and their progress do make me feel of the work I have been doing.

Gym, have i mentioned gym?? This is something good that the lack of groups at school brought me: Time for gym! . I have been going there everyday, and I just cant get even tired of the great amount of Spinning, Body pump, or Jump Fit classes. Weight lifting? Naaah…hate it! It is amazing how exercises and healthy food can make one feel great.  Now I wonder what is really more valuable… time or money..

In a nutshell, life just seems not a different as anyone else´s. Full of ups and downs, a lot not even mentioned here. The difference is that the Christian ideals I have got now, make me face life in a very different way. A more optimistic one at times. At this point in life, I really don’t know what to expect. Plans have been a bit hard to map out and to accomplish as well. One thing is for sure though: my faith and everything related to it is surely going to turn me into a better, much better human being.

Have a great day, all… Let me now play with my “Premium” toy…

Field Trip to  TGI Friday´s

This is the second time we take our students out to TGI Friday´s. It is a great oportunity they have to practice their English outside the school, and have fun at the same time.

Some of our students…

See the picture below? See the third guy from right to left? Taht´smy adorable student Eduardo who also has a blog here at Xanga! And….see the lady in red? That me….

More people….the 2 ladies on the right are my director and cordinator.

The staff( read..teachers!  )

More snaps to be developed and posted later. Needless to say that the evening was great, and we all had fun!

Have a great week, you all!

 Sounds

Growing up as a member of a rather large city, surrounded by the constant sounds of living, I’ve grown quite fond of silence. It is my belief that sometimes in order to hear the nuances and subtleties of sound, one has to diminish the over abundance of acoustic information constantly flooding our ears. Everyday I feel the need to quiet my world in order to truly listen.

Now I will do nothing but listen
I will be no more than an observer
With my eyes closed
I will experience the ordering of tones
Sounds in combination
Temporal relationships producing
Unity and continuity
A composition
My beloved musica

In one of the more contemporary definitions, John Cage has declared: “Music is sounds, sounds around us whether we’re in or out of the concert halls.” He said this in reference to Thoreau’s Walden, where the author experiences in the sounds and sights of nature an inexhaustible entertainment.

Today all sounds belong to a continuous field of possibilities lying within the dominion of music. Little by little all the conventional definitions of music have been exploded by the activities of musicians: anyone and anything that sounds. It is difficult for all to agree on what music is or ought to be.

Lovemaking
Spring
Oceans
Thunder
Whispering
Landslides
Breathing
You

What is the determining factor in defining what is good music? What makes you listen again? Is it a revolutionary style? Breaking the restrictions of chords, ordinary harmony, bar lines, and tempered scales. Or perhaps an innovative use of harmonic inversions and dissonance. Maybe your mind doesn’t think theory. Do you focus on the performance? An extraordinary technique – singing, humming, moaning. The intricate sounds of soft harmonies and melodic improvising. A pure tone that simply takes over your body like nothing else.

Whatever it is, we all have our favorite sounds stored deep inside of us. Never to be forgotten. Even as I type these words I can hear them…in silence. Can you?

.Words are a tool like any other. We use words to put across the feelings that come in and out of our hectic minds and hearts. What happens when you can no longer put into words how it is that you feel? What happens when the english language fails to sum up everything that you want to sum up. What happens when the tears can’t morph themselves into words, words that will explain why it is that you waste so much energy hating yourself. I spin the globe with the tap of my finger and play that game. That game where you put your finger down on a random place and stop the spinning globe and imagine what it would be like to be there. But in a game without a winner, I have managed to become the loser. Because every place is the same. For no matter where I go my footsteps will find a way to follow me. I will follow me. Is there a way I can put myself on a seperate plane from where I’m going? Everyone should have a pair of wings. Wings that will fly ever so high and far away from all worry and pain. Everyone should have wings. I want wings.

Another trip

Embu is a charming historic city with a mountainous climate and colonial architecture situated 25 km from São Paulo. Currently, this is a center of a concentration of artists and artisans who use every weekend ateliers, galleries and open air fairs in the city to show their work. This is an excursion fit for some one who wishes to know a little bit about Brazilian art and take the time to buy some souvenirs. Full-day walk and lunch is recommended

A legend tells that the Priest Belchior de Pontes walked up from Itanhaém to the plateau to find a place to found a Jesuit School. On his way, he got lost in the forest. An indian helped him and took him, uncouncious, to a hut. The indian left him to bring water and didn’t come back. Afterwards they found him dead surrounded by a big snake, called M’Boy in the Guarani language. The Priest Belchior buried the indian according to the customs and raised the Chapel Nossa Senhora do Rosário and later on the church, in that very place. The first name of the village was given after the snake: M’Boy, that turned to Embu afterwards. At the end of the 60s, Embu was the picture of the slogan „Piece and love“ from the hippie movement. Invited by the local artists, hippies craftmen started coming to the city on weekends, making ehibitions of their work on the main streets, beside the land crafts. That’s how the Arts and Craft Fair, which takes place there every weekend began, since 1969. The huge success of this fair, which attracts inside and outside visitors, thrives a permanent trade of crafts, antiques, country styled furniture shops and art galleries, which have become the trade mark of the city. In this whole day tour we will visit the main sights of the city, like the lanes and colonial houses, as well as the crafts fair.

**PS** A student of mine has just created his weblog after I told him about mine. His aim it so practice as much English as he can, and also meet people to share his ideas with Please, pay him a visit, so that he starts blogging… Thanks you all!