November 11, 2004

  • The door was closed
    And there she stood
    So uncomposed
    Waiting to see what could

    Be done to make life more appealing
    And so she walked away from the door
    Thinking of the worthlessness of her dealings
    And fell to the floor

    Silently she clutched her blanket
    Why, why, why am I here?
    She asked feeling as if she were in a straightjacket
    And all of her fears were so near

    So near they suffocated her
    And there she repose
    Lifeless she seemed, in a weeping blur
    Clutching to the thorns of a rose

    Holding onto that which was dear
    Only to wait to slip again
    But this time life seemed so clear
    She could see the prison walls then

    Surrounding her soul like a fortress
    But those walls appeared weak
    And couldn’t contain such a mess
    Then she began to seek

    Looking for the rationality
    Looking for anything to facilitate
    Maybe it will give her possitive mentallity
    Or maybe the walls will crash down beautifully and great.



November 2, 2004

  • cold rush of an october breeze
    settles on unsettling seas
    certanty is not clearly certainas
    it unvails falls beautiful curtain

    the leaves fall gracefully to forest floors
    Helplessly delicate wisping through moores
    beautiful angels dance through the trees
    manipulating all the falling leaves

    There are no more emerald greens
    And cold rainwater washes the leaves
    Warm breezes gone with the geese
    South for the winter to rest at peace

    Fall brings that grim reaper
    Unsettling all those emotions that were hidden deeper
    Causing its disease
    to spread among the trees

    Cold and rushing are the breezes
    Tender and warm have left the seasons
    Waiting patiently for the end
    Could it bring me to long for the dead.


     


    Such things we write when thinking of life in a distant land…Is it like painting? What if I painted those words? Would it bring me any closer to the words I wrote? Would it bring me any closer somehow? Is the poet really a liar? Is the artist a liar? I wonder…



    **New Background by Alice

October 29, 2004

  • Battle fatigue


    My head is reeling with the fourteen things I’ve chosen to care about deeply right now. I keep running into walls that just shouldn’t be there, catching my shoulders on the jambs of doors that were wider a minute ago I swear. I can’t open my eyes without feeling hardwired into a constant barage of confusion, frustration, conspiracy, manipulation and anger. We are all so tired.


    We all seem so tizzied. Squalling amid activity and information in quantities too large to process. There is no mystery to the collective exhaustion. Are we afraid to shut our eyes for more than one fraction of a second?


    I see beautiful worlds in my dreams. Impossible landscapes where the ocean flows into a waterfall and a forest sits on the edge of the world. I scrape my heart tripping over obstacles I didn’t see because of the largeness of the sky.


    God help me with these invisible opponents. I don’t know how useful this sword is.




October 14, 2004







  •  


    teacher´s day….


    This symbol above does look like a Lotus… Or a star.. a Mandala or the like. It is the symbol of one of the schools i work for. There, I have an average of 300 students whose names I´m still to memorize.  Tomorrow in Brazil we celebrate the teacher´s day. I do guess it is more commercial or symbolic, because it should actually be celebrated every day. Being a teacher is also being an eternal learner. You learn the topic you have to teach, of course, but by learning how people learn, and leaning how to deal with them is a nice experience as well.  I will be an eternal learner, even if I stop giving classes. So, to the world, that is my best teacher…. Happy teacher´s day!


    To you that come to my site from time to time, here are some pics a park in Atibaia, a nearby city in são Paulo state where I went last weekend. Pics are small here, but then you know… Click on them to have a closer look


      


    Take care, y’all

October 1, 2004











  •  School


    If you have  been reading my blog for over 2 years, you know know that I am a teacher. Now if you really read it, you may know that I used to live with a room mate till last December when she got married and moved. You may also know I teach at 2 schools: A language one(all levels), and a elementary one( also all levels).  This year I started teaching at elementary school and it has been a total different thing. I had to learn to deal with people from different ranges of age(3 to 17) and different ways of learning methods. Unfortunately not everyone has the same ideal of learning, so it has made my goal of teaching even more challenging.


    Once I got used to the scheme and lack of time even to Xanga, I could experience some good things about teaching. Two weeks ago the whole week got concentrated in the preparation of our “Science Presentation”. It is more a kind of a ‘research” presentation. The theme this year is our city, São Paulo, and its ‘faces’. Each grade took a part of the city. As I´m the coordinator of the 3rd High School group( last year in brazil), together with the Geography teacher, we put our minds to the project.  My point here is not to tell much about the work itself, but to show some of the pictures we took from one of the areas we  has to visit. These below is basically Paulista avenue area, one of the most important financial/cultural areas of São Paulo. Hope you enjoy. And by the way… that day, the students( 5 of them), Silvio( geography teacher) and I had lots of fun! I have been learning much by being a teacher. and althought I´m stressed to death, i think it is stil rewarding. I´ll miss that group….


    Below, the girls…



    A brief comparizon of the old and new architecture..




    One of the lots of antennas of radio and TV,




    The green building is a Citibank one.



    At the Masp
    museum you can see the exhibition of many pictures and sculptors.



    High rises….




    The white  house is a Bank Boston branch. When it´s Christmas, it is beautifully decorated.



    Hope you enjoy


    Shy.



September 24, 2004







  • A break to welcome Spring here in the South part of the planet…



     




September 10, 2004








  • Getting older…getting better


    As I mentioned before, last Tuesday was my birthday. Some friends from church told me they would stóp by and I must confess I was excited about that. I had also invited my old friends over as well, but as it was a long weekend here, many of them were traveling. Funny thing was that I caught myself in a new home, with new friends and a new life. I told them how much  grateful I was with their friendship and also for the fact that they are now part of my life. I am surrounded by special people. Many of them were not there in person, but they managed to contact somehow. If not,  every time i see any of them is something special. And while i dont seem to have time to write, let me share some of my images here….


    Below there´s everyone except the photographer…(Click on the pics to see larger and better)



    Everyone again, without me….



    My friends Marcos, Talita and Karen



    From left to right there´s Erika, Denise( she is one of my bosses, and also a  good friend), Jéder (Denise´s husband) and next Larissa.



    Maisa, Anderson( we all call him “Mr. Anderson”…got the joke? Neo? Hmm?) and Marcos Cesar.


     




    It was a special day. Devoted to be grateful to everything God´s given me and made me learn. i´m glad for things i am able to achieve by being who I am and the way life has sharpened my mind and heart. Anyway… I´m not good for words today. i am much better at feelings.  Hoe you enjoy…


    Have a nice weekend



September 4, 2004








  • Nest…


    I dont know from where to start. My life has changed so much the last few months that I can barely remember how things were in the beggining of the year. Things at the both school where I work have been maddening, but still great. I have been working long hours and when I´m home, I still have things to do. Not complaining though.


    Among the huge amount of time I spend( I said spend…) working, I was able to find some time to my apartment as well. Last pictures I posted here showed it unfurnished and not painted yet. Well, I painted the white part myself, and a good friend of mine made the details.  I feel proud and happy that I managed to do all that without having to share my apartment with someone. Having my own space sometimes get me stressed, but it is rewarding.


    Two weeks ago I had a bible study at home, and we took some pictures. After the study, my friends made me a surprise by bringing a cake and singing a very happy birthday to me. It was pleasant as usual. Anyway… no more words. Let´s go to the pics….


    My living room just after the get together….




    As I mentioned before, I painted the white part of the walls… Steve says I am silly( why cant he ever say something good about the things I do???) But I´m glad about the result. It is cozy and I feel good being home now…




    Now, something never showed before…..Tcharaaaaaaa!!! My kitchen! And a bit of the laundry too. This is my little lab. Here I invent and I also make some magic too… Yes, cooking is one of my passions…



    Below that´s a close pic of Julia… she sleeps with me



    What? You want to see people on the pics? Well, they did not allow me to show them here yet. I´ll see what I can do. I´ll now enjoy the long weekend. On the 7th it is our Independence Day and also my birthday. I have got nothing planned yet, but I am quite sure I´ll be ok….





     

September 3, 2004

  • Daydreaming… 

     

    Finally some down time relaxing, thumbing through the latest issue of national geographic. Everyone in the place was doing something. Most were reading, a few writing. One guy was not doing anything, not anything at all. He just sat there with sunglasses looking forward. It seemed kind of odd, out of place, it shouldn’t have, it was a nice sunny day in this huge city. And it should be perfectly normal for someone to just sit and think, like I did. It was curious though! Hard to tell a person”s state when you cant see their eyes. Was he napping? Or counting the number of people walking by; 345, 346, … waiting patiently for the next person to walk by. Was he slowly falling in love with the girl with her back to him? She had just the right amount of imperfection to hook a person that sees perfection in average! Not too little, not too much. We probably develop feelings for anything if we look at it long enough, specially things that are silent. Try it out; stare at a rock for 10 minutes. You start noticing things, beautiful things; curves, dimples, edges, shapes, figures .. the object takes on a character. But what about her? Is she gentle? Does she purr like a kitten when she sleeps? Does she love artichoke hearts? All this stuff could be snailing through his mind. Or was it something else all together? Was he thinking “this woman to my left is looking at me and I bet she’s going to start writing something. She would have to or feel out of place just sitting there, not reading her magazine. She probably has a diary, maybe even a weblog. She might even think that I’m fixated on this girl’s bare shoulder in front of me. Does she know she is writing about her through me? should I tell her? ‘excuse me, this woman to my left keeps looking at me, and since I’m looking forward she probably thinks that I’m staring at you. How do you feel about that? Does that bother u? Do u want me to stop? But I wasn’t staring, she was thinking that I was. Does that matter? Weather you are in my mind or in her or anyone else’s in this place? Do you feel divided or spread out? Being in multiple places at the same time? Not being responsible or in control of what you are doing at all these virtual places? God knows what she’s thinking in her sick little head! Do you want her to stop? ‘excuse me, can u stop writing about me? she doesn’t like it very much. the fact that you think she is imperfect offends her. She doesn’t like people highlighting her flaws, let alone writing about them. she Once scorned at someone for opening the door for her and she actually does not like to be called a lady. So could u kindly stop?””


August 24, 2004

  • Timeless and drained


    Forget the whales and the rain forests. forget about dependency on fossil fuels, teenage pregnancy, national health insurance, education, global warming, life on mars, special interest politics, genetic babies, civil rights, hunger in africa, obesity in america, AIDS, peace in middle east and nuclear proliferation in far east.
    Lets unite and bring back afternoon naps!!